Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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