Sponge bath it is.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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