He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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