You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
