I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
