is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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