had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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