i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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