i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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