Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
