I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
