So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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