he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
