seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
