im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
