Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
