the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
