i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
