cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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