so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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