I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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