I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
