Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
