She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Girls should come with a carfax report
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize