Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
