where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
