'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
