and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
