whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
