I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
