Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
