I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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