tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
