It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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