I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
