just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
