When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
