If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
