JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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