At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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