He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
