Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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