Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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