Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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