So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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