i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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