My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize