and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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