he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
