had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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