He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
