He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize