You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So vagazzling was a success
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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