Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
