Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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