i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
