I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
